Marriage and Adultery! Impact on your next generation.

This article is to be used for reference purposes only by the readers. Any reference of the below events in the story to any one either living or dead is purely coincidental and is regretted. I am not answerable to any legal obligations and to any court of law pertaining to this article published.

This is based on a true story

Chapter 1:

My name is Jyothi Singh a 26 year old female, I am quite pretty and self-confident. I am a working woman in IT in Hi-Tech City, Hyderabad in one of the Indian based MNC. I am the third child in my family, quite pampered since childhood and being the only girl in the family, I always had lot of attention from my parents and siblings.

Though my parents are quite religious, I somehow turned out to be atheist. This may be one of the reasons I am so inclined to western culture and dislike Indian culture and traditions for multiple reasons; though I never been out of my country! I somehow am fascinated and inclined by my friends talking about it and also watching western movies a lot.

Though, I come from a middle class family, I was pretty much shielded with the problems in the real life by my family. So I am always inclined towards a happy and stress less life, I just go by flow. I like to be up to date with technology and trends and fashion.

Chapter 2:

My name is Abhi Uditeswar I am 28 year old male, I am from Chennai. I am an IT professional working for a US client directly. I am the eldest and the only male in the family. So I always had lot of responsibilities since childhood. I have seen the real life, the pain, the struggle for survival.

Though I was born middle class, my great grandparents were really affluent. My grandfather inherited 15 acres (653K sq feet) of land from his father who owned 30 acres of land and was a local Munasib, all lost by trusting wrong people. When I was born, all that we had was a rented home with 150 sq ft space to live in India. I was raised by my father to know importance of money and trust in humans, and my mother taught me the importance of relationships.

I am quite spiritual but not so religious, I strongly believe in concept of humanity, trust and respect in relationships and elders. I am hard worker, I plan and work towards what I need, even if it means stretching my limits to achieve and obtain something in my life by facing any challenges laid out by truthful means.

Chapter “99”:

Jyothi is now 50 years old helping orphans.

She is back from a camp and sat in her rolling chair and thinking about Abhi and her kid Saradha while she was looking at her photo album....

After 30 years from the time when Abhi and Jyothi got married…

Both of their lives have changed a lot after they got divorced 14 years after their marriage, when they separated with the only child Saradha’s responsibility falling in the lap of Jyothi.

Everything was going in its natural flow, but a day came where things changed for Jyothi.

Saradha committed suicide! Upon her marriage failure! 

Abhi died with heart failure upon hearing the news of her lovely daughter’s tragedy!

How did this all happen?

As they say “Karma cannot be escaped”.

Saradha fell in love with Sarath. Who she thought is a nicest human being. But Sarath had a parallel affair with Saradha’s friend Mary while he was in relationship with Saradha, ignorant of the fact that Mary and Saradha are good friends.

Mary and Saradha were never aware of who they were in relationship with, until one day Saradha came to know about it a month before her marriage when Mary dropped from her short overseas trip after Saradha’s engagement with Sarath. She recognized him and briefed about Sarath immediately

Saradha could not take this betrayal and went to meet Sarath’s father Praveen. Praveen denied of his son doing such an act and called out that she was doing all this for money. And also told her a bitter truth that she was from a family where there are no morals and values, adding to fact that Jyothi her mother was in illegal relationship with someone during her marriage!

Unable to digest the fact Saradha went to find more and found that her mother Jyothi and Praveen were in illegal relationship! Saradha went to her mother Jyothi to directly talk to her about this and her mother agreed that she was in relationship with Praveen but not aware till her marriage alliance that Praveen was Sarath’s father! She said it just happened in a flow and there is nothing much can be done about it now so she kept numb.

Saradha could not take the pain of betrayal! She imagined how his father would feel about it as he loved her mother so much and only she knows a father who can look after her child with so much care, can imagine how much his father could have loved her Mom.

Thousands of thoughts ran in her brain! She thought the truth should not be known to his father so she decided to bury it with her death!

Abhi who was very practical, never believed his daughter was not so coward, he knew how brave her daughter was. So he went to find the real reason; he found out the reason!

Though Abhi thought Jyothi got separated as she was not happy, he never imagined that she would cheat him in his back! And that mistake of hers could one day cost her daughter’s life and his!

—The End of Chapter 99.

Friends! In any relationship transparency, honesty and trust are very important. We think we are smart enough to use technology and couple of lie’s to cheat on someone. But what we are forgetting is this charm, this momentary happiness is not going to last forever. It is the persons love and the person himself being by your side till his last breath. And what you do will one day have an impact on you and your family!

In life it is good to go by where the wind blows! But remember when in relationship you cannot follow the wind, it only means you are tied loose and you may not be ready for a serious relationship.

If you feel so do not hesitate to come out and live your own life as you like but betraying others is betraying your own self.

In a relationship partners are like a thread and kite tied back to person (relationship/marriage/family etc) operating from ground. So even if wind blows harsh or there is no wind, you safely reach ground to the person operating it! But if you are tied lose! You know what happens.

In this ever changing modern world! Technology is a boon! Use it to bring stronger relationships and better place for our next generations and not easy, pleasurable, weaker parallels!

Stronger families form stronger societies, stronger societies form stronger states, stronger states pave way to better life of next generations. After all this life is all about survival and evolution into stronger beings not weaker child lings.

Getting Married? What men/men's family should think of.

Note: This article should be deemed as purely informative. Most of the examples and cases quoted here are based on true incidents in my/immediate family and any coincidence with anyone living or dead is purely coincidence and I am not responsible/answerable to any court of law. This is truly based on Indian law and may not be considered for other countries for sections and penal codes.
I write this blog to help all those individuals especially working Men who are getting married to woman in India.

Just a sneak peak, it is noted that the 90% of the divorce cases are filed by individuals who are both earning! More alarmingly are the causes of divorce?! Which I will brief of on in upcoming articles.
Every year the number of cases are getting doubled if not divorce; partners are resorting to something I refer to as inhuman and illegitimate relationships behind their partners in comfort zone called marriage. I will also focus on what such actions will lead into and consequences to your own self/children in long term.

Considering our tradition and culture, especially if you are coming from an orthodox and middle class family with morals, ethics and healthy principles as your primary breath, you will be a primary target for money looting, by woman, in the institution of marriage.

It is also seen those in professions like CA, doctors also facing 498A etc., as woman prefer to target the high-earning men in private especially MNC jobs and prefer them as husbands for easy money.
Please be circumspective of the decisions you make in marrying an Indian woman.

I only am quoting few personal traits you can leverage to better know your partner.

• Make sure you meet the girl first in person, know where she is working, and meet her colleagues/friends, know her expectations from you/marriage/in laws etc. Know her parents back ground and her back ground. Get her medical record from a trusted family doctor this helps to know few things like her health (abortions, STD’s etc.). You have every right to ask and she also has every right to refuse. So make your choice wisely. This does not say much but will be helpful to get an insight into her lifestyle.
• If you are trying to marry a girl whose father/immediate family is in real estate, you need to be double cautious of the fact that they have good network with advocates, police and criminals.
• Always be double cautious when choosing a girl from family whose immediate family/family members are advocates or if there sisters of someone are undergoing divorce process.
• If you have a choice ensure the girl is not from same locality of yours (magistrate division). The reason being you have choice to register case against her in your own area and not hers which may be risky considering her relations at her home town.
• A girl who usually comes with a higher class than yours mostly has bigger dreams and sometimes due to parents forcefulness may accept for marriage so ensure you set the expectations very clearly.
• A girl who has all girls as siblings usually has less insight of how a boys behavior would be, compared to a girl who has brother as sibling. This does not mean a girl with brother as sibling can be blindly married! There are equal number of divorce cases whose brothers support their sisters just to cash easy money by taking percentages.

The most commonly used cases against men by working women to squeeze money are below.

• 498 A is the worst nightmare and a weapon if misused by woman. Saddening part is, it is considered a criminal case once filed against you, by a girl, even though you have not even dreamt of resorting into such actions “Welcome to reality”. 99% of divorce cases from 2009 are filed by woman under this section
• Others and equally important are  CrPC 125 (monthly maintenance), HMA 24 (interim maintenance),  IPC 406A (recovery of women’s righteous money), 324 (assault), IPC 506 (criminal intimidation)
• The latest trend is that wife may file IPC 377 on you (unnatural sex), IPC 376 (rape) or 354 (outraging modesty of a woman) on your father or your brother etc.

Things you need to ensure you follow/practice considering the changes in current trend especially if you are a Man/Woman getting into marriage are

• Dowry is a practice in India even though the form and name has changed a lot in recent past. Either it is in the form of a gift from girl’s father to her on day of marriage in the form of gold/diamonds/land/car/gold rings/mangal sootr etc. or a costly trip to countries for honeymoon.
•   Make sure everything even a penny spent in marriage procession is procured in the form of hard copy/soft copy of bills and save it forever. The bills related to gold, sarees, gifts, catering, function hall, even the money spent on priests or for that matter gas and electricity too should be saved for later purposes.
• A common trend among girls is to file IPC sections under dowry and quoting 20-30 lakhs of INR (May go beyond if you are from higher middle class and affluent families) in marriage processions. This could be avoided by submitting this bills to Honorable court.
• There was one case the court has just dismissed and fined woman for falsifying the facts and raised dowry, dv and 498 against her husband. The husband used the proofs of bills and a video footage that was taken as proof of what was given to each other in terms of gifts or cost of marriage. I am not saying you should not trust your partner, what I am saying is avoid conflicts in future by just following these small things during marriage.

Trust, humanity, morals are forgotten values now a days. If you are a man who believe these then this article is for you. Do not get into marriage or even relationship in haste, take your time. And follow simple things like above which may at least give you some relief instead of none.

My next article will be on differences in thought process between men and women in India and the outcomes of these in differences leading to divorce which could be avoided by knowing what each of the individual is getting into after marriage.

Thanks for reading, hope it is helpful to know what is going in the Indian Marriage systems currently.